dragging love

Angus lit his cigarette slowly and felt the acrid smoke fill his throat. The metallic click of the lighter echoed around the empty town square. Silence is golden. Silence is safe.

He straightened his upturned collar against the cold and let out that first smoky breath. Watching the smoke mingle and merge with the fog and smiling. Simple pleasures. It’s all life was really.

A mere few months ago, Angus has rolled high. His suits were immaculate. His cars were fast. His food was always expensive. He used to feel he had it all. He used to feel he needed it all. Then that day came. That day that still sends a shiver down your spine. That day when it all began. When most things ended. Now he stood. Unshaven. Unwashed. Muddied boots and stitched up jeans. Trench Coat hanging heavily off his shoulders. Shotgun cocked. Cricket bat bloodied. Ready to go. Ready to fight. Desperate to survive.

Today, a cigarette was heaven. A whiskey was utopia. A 3 day old sandwich was freaking Shangrila.

It was Angus’s turn to watch the square. The rest of his troupe were huddled in the basement of ‘The Bear and Wheelbarrow’. He didn’t even know where they were. They’d be on the move for weeks now.

It was quite tonight. So quiet he could hear the cigarette paper burning. So quiet he could hear the gravel move under his boots. So quiet he could hear them coming.

The sound was always the same. The dragging feet across the ground. The moan. Angus got ready. How many were there? He only had 3 shots in the gun. The bat would help, but not if there were lots. Maybe it was best to run? It was getting closer. The moan echoed around the square. Angus crouched, ready and waiting. He whispered the mantra to himself

“Come on you fucker. Come on you Zombie piece of shit”

Then it came. Hunched and crooked. Mangled and distorted. Disjointed and...Strangely arousing.

Maybe it was the weeks living off dry rations. Maybe it was the unclean feeling that running for your life will give you. Maybe it was because all the women in his troupe were totally dykes. But this zombie was beautiful.

“No...come on Angus...it’s a zombie. They killed your brother. They’ve destroyed your life. Keep Focus”

“MMMMAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH” it spoke in the most luscious bass.

“Kill it man...kill it”

“MMMAAAUUUGGGHHHH” the way it moved. Dragging those hips this way and that.

“It’s Gonna Kill You”

“MMMAAAUUUUGGGHHHH” but still he couldn’t do it. The way her head hanging to one side. Hair blonde hair matted together with the dried blood of her victims. The way one of her breasts had fallen off. She was magnificent.

Angus dropped his gun to his side and stood. The zombie ambled towards him

“Hi...I’m Angus”

“Brrraaaaiiiinns”

“Erm...wow, I don’t normally do this, but I noticed you across the square and...”

“Brrrrraaaaiiinnnns”

“...well, could I maybe buy you a drink?” Angus laid on his most charming smile. The one he once used to arrange an orgy with the entire cast of Cats.

The zombie stopped he slowly crawl across the square and gave, what Angus guessed was, a coy zombie smile.

“Brrains” she seemed to giggle.

Angus pulled out one of his Molotov cocktails, removed the material from the top, and handed it to the Zombie. He noticed a blood splattered name tag on her top.

“Amanda” he read. “Such a pretty name”

“Brains” she sexily moaned with a flick of her hair. He was entranced but this woman. Her limp, her scabs, the blood trickling from the side of her mouth. He wanted her. He Needed her. He’d do anything for her

“This may be a little forward Amanda, but...you are so beautiful. I want you Amanda. I’d do anything to be with you....anything”

“MMMAAAUUUGGH” she replied in those luscious tones.

“What do you want my darling, what do you need?” Angus pleaded

“Brains” she answered. Looking longingly into his eyes

“Yes, of course, how silly of me...I will get you brains”

Angus skipped away with a fluttering his heart. He hadn’t felt this way since his School girlfriend Miranda before she became a whore and kissed Scott Mackintosh. Amanda was beautiful, interesting, mysterious. He needed to show her he was worth it. He had to make her love him. He ran back to the Bear and Wheelbarrow and gave the secret knock (the Addams Family theme tune). ‘It’s Angus, open up’

The door creaked open and John looked up at him.

“Angus...is everything okay?” John asked. His brow sweaty and dirty. His breathe stank of gin.

“Yeah, yeah, fine, awesome. I just erm...I just need to speak to Rowan quickly” he replied, ushering past the balding stinking man.

On the walk back Angus had considered his options. He knew he needed a brain for his woman. And he knew where there were many brains. But who’s to pick? There were 6 of them left now.

Cynthia was in her 30’s, had worked in an office for most of her adult life. Liked cats and before the Zombie Apocalypse had watched every Sex in the City episode at least 30 times. While she refused to admit it sober, she always thought about Kim Cattrel on the lonely nights. While she was utterly useless with a weapon, she was a slow runner, and if he needed a human shield, she was probably the best bet.

Anthony was the last to join their group, found defending himself with only a roll of wallpaper and a sack full of golf balls on top of a Volkswagen. While it annoyed Angus, the way he pronounced ‘Cheese’, Anthony was tougher than a week old baguette. He was a good guy to keep around

As was Linda. A shaven headed punk with more nose rings than leg waxes. She was a bitch like no other. But Angus had seen her decapitate a zombie with a toilet seat. And he respected that.

John was a snivelly weak willed alcoholic who had trouble breathing on cold nights. His stories went nowhere, and they were all fairly certain he hadn’t dated anyone his entire life. However his pathetic loneliness had left him with so much free time, he knew the details of every tiny village across Western Yorkshire. He was useful to the cause.

Rowan however...

He’d worked in a shop since he was 16. He liked Rugby, though had never played in his life. His claim to fame was completing Grand Theft Auto. He was partially deaf after he went to a Motorhead concert when he was 13. His life was going nowhere, and the zombie apocalypse was probably the most exciting thing that would have ever occurred in his life. It was time for him to die.

“Rowan, hey man, can I talk to you?” Angus smiled a Cheshire cat smile and lead Rowan to the back of the room.

“Sure thing Angus”

When they were far enough away, Angus whispered “Look Rowan, you and I...we...we get it, don’t we?”

Rowan looked confused. Or normal, whichever way you want to look at it.

“We’ve got a connection, haven’t we? We get each other. We know what’s going on?” Angus tried to whisper in the most motivating way possible

“Erm...yeah, I guess”

“Well, look, I don’t mean to be horrible about anyone here, but...well they just...they’re fodder Rowan. We’re champions. I can see it in your eyes. We’re going to survive this”. Angus was a wonderful motivator. He’d once got his paintball team to not only win the game, but claim the territory as their own. It took a 3 day standoff with the police to get them to leave.

“While I was in the square, I found something that’s going to help us. I need you to help me with it. It will be our little secret”

Rowans eyes glowed with intrigue and wonder. No one had ever trusted him before. Not even after he’d bought in those cookies for everyone at work. He never got the respect he deserved.

The two of them slipped out to the square, crouching as they walked, like two crabs dressed as hoboes. When they reached the fountain, Angus turned to Rowan and in a whispered voice he told him to stay here; he’d be back in a second.

Quickly searching the square again, Angus found his Amanda in an alley, lumbering after a stray cat. The cat was merely toying with her, being the nimble feline she was, there was no way a zombie could ever catch her. That seemed no reason to leave however. This was the most excitement she’s had in weeks.

Angus arrive and cleared his throat. “Hi”

Amanda slowly turned with a moan and began limping towards him, lust, both blood and pelvic, coursing through her.

Angus backed away to lead her towards the waiting victim, and gave her the international sign for quiet, which even zombies understand. Slowly they sneaked and slouched like a mentally challenged caterpillar towards the dim witting Rowan, who was happily humming to himself and thinking not upon the danger he found himself in.

In fact, Rowan was currently thinking about his favourite pair of Rugby Boots. He’d never bought them or even tried them on. But the advert for them made them look so comfy and useful. He was just going over the finer points of the lacing when Amanda reached him, and sunk her dirty teeth into his mildly large forehead.

He screamed like a black woman from a 20’s cartoon as the blood poured over his face and into his lap. Angus worried himself over the others hearing and coming to the rescue. Images flashed through his mind of Linda’s Doc Martin buried deep into his crotch. His crouch was now Amanda’s, and Amanda’s alone. So he quick stuffed the old Molotov material into Rowans caterwauling mouth. He stood back and watched as Rowan flailed around and pleaded with his eyes. They seemed to say ‘OH GOD OH GOD PLEASE GOD HELP ME AHHHHH’.

He looked up at the gnawing image of his reanimated girl. She was so beautiful. The way her dimples seemed more pronounced as she ripped of chunks of his hair with her teeth. Her bloodshot eyes. Her nipples were erect. And so were Angus’.

He could feel something happening to him down below. In his special place. As he heard the crack of the broken skull he could help himself no longer, and started caressing his throbbing manhood.

Amanda slurped and chomped at the exposed brains, groaning passionately. Angus kept whacking away at his bugling underpants stick. He had never been so turned on to see a dead person suck the quivering brain out from a crushed skull before. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

‘Oh Amanda, I can’t take it anymore, I need you’ he screamed in passion

“Brains...”

“Yes, yes, Brains...”

He grabbed Amanda from behind and delicately kissed her writhing neck. His hands felt every mouldy curve of her shapely leprous figure. He squeezed her breast and felt some oozing fluid dampen her shirt. He caressed the wound where her right breast once sat. She moaned with pleasure

‘Braaaaiiinnns’

He slowly moved his hands up to her hair, stroking and pulling at the crusty locks. Clumps of hair and scalp came apart in Angus’ fingers. He flicked them away and bought his strong masculine hands down to her legs. Slowly hiking up her skirt to reveal soiled and moistened underwear, which he quickly pulled away.

Grabbing Amanda’s hips and thrusting them into his pulsating pelvic region, he bit his lips and went to work. Amanda continued to devour the brains of dearly departed Rowan while Angus ploughed that zombie pussy like a Monkey in a wind farm. She squirmed with brain fuelled ecstasy while he blitzed her undead beaver until it began seeping zombie love juice. This was the best sex he’d ever had.

After a good two minutes of vigorous pounding he felt the wonderful tingle of exodus in his magic sack, his knees buckled and he slumped to a halt against the fountains edge.

“Amy word...Amanda...that was...unbelievable”

“Brains” she replied, giving the zombie equivalent of a wink.

“I love you” he softly said, looking deep into her vacant eyes.

Her face remained passive and blood stained, but he could feel the warmth between them, she opened her arms, he went to embrace her.

And she bit his dick off.