Phone Names

Some time ago I met a girl who changed many things in my life. And she started something wonderful and amusing in my mind that continues to this day. Each time it still amuses me, and brings grins of exasperation from my friends. But still, I adore.
Her name was Lani. I was sitting watching football one day when she sat down next to me, and we began a conversation. Instantly we clicked and joked, started abusing each other (all good friendships actually revolve around abuse, and not comfort). The next day during our first non drunk conversation, I somehow renamed her ‘Lani the Racist Bowling Champion’, the next time we talked; I was called ‘George the Funky Rapist’. I changed her name on my phone to reflect this amusing nickname, and thus it began.
Nowadays, hardly any person on my phone is under their real name. If something funny is said, by them, or by myself about them, I change their name. This proves quite entertaining. Especially when (as Lani found out later) I am so drunk I need assistance getting home, and one of my friends needs to find someone on my phone to help me.
Nowadays, my girlfriend is the one who gets the most of this little trait. I will happily say I think she is the most amusing person I know, and has not only a wonderful grasp of the English language, but also a very surreal train of thought also. So here are a few examples of the names my girl has been called on my phone.
Pocket O Nuts
I write my name in cancer on your penis
Semi Permanent State of Quiver
Kiddie pool of Whale Cum
Bedaggered Dong
Blue Ukulele
Crotchular Topographer
My Magic is erection dependant
Tapping the tail
Toning the Boom Boom
Markesian Jelybride
Hoo Ha Splat
Weasel on Learning Drugs
Claustrophobic Wang
Fuck My Door
And my personal favourite- Harbinger of Ornithological Demise